Weasel Boy
Today I looked like a rodent, because in the shower this morning I forgot to use shampoo. The realization came at work when my hair was suspiciously still wet. My un-shampooed head-oils "lock in the moisture," to put a positive beauty-term spin on it. Unfortuneately my hair just looked greasy and dirty, which is pretty much how it was. I also wore my glasses, which made my eyes look smaller, increasing the rodent effect. All day I avoided looking at mirrors.
So one might ask how it is one forgets to shampoo. (My girlfriend in fact did ask, and then laughed at my expense.) I don't know what to say. It was a Monday, and in the shower things happen so fast... after the dust (steam?) settles I guess anything is possible.
That reminds me: I mean to declare the tentative parenthetic insert (TPI) dead. I just made that term up, but there's an example in the last paragraph:"(steam?)". You've probably seen the technique before. It's so irritatingly literary. Though it seemed to work above (comments welcome), the little Dan in my head said "Delete." But I couldn't. Instead I wrote this paragraph. As I see it, there are three advantages to this paragraph compared with the simple delete option: a) I can keep my TPI, b) I can be the first (I think) to declare its death and, by implication, appear astute, c) since it's my rule, I can break it and paradoxically seem, not hackneyed, but edgy. Pretty weasel-y of me, eh?
So one might ask how it is one forgets to shampoo. (My girlfriend in fact did ask, and then laughed at my expense.) I don't know what to say. It was a Monday, and in the shower things happen so fast... after the dust (steam?) settles I guess anything is possible.
That reminds me: I mean to declare the tentative parenthetic insert (TPI) dead. I just made that term up, but there's an example in the last paragraph:"(steam?)". You've probably seen the technique before. It's so irritatingly literary. Though it seemed to work above (comments welcome), the little Dan in my head said "Delete." But I couldn't. Instead I wrote this paragraph. As I see it, there are three advantages to this paragraph compared with the simple delete option: a) I can keep my TPI, b) I can be the first (I think) to declare its death and, by implication, appear astute, c) since it's my rule, I can break it and paradoxically seem, not hackneyed, but edgy. Pretty weasel-y of me, eh?
posted by Dan Sisan at 10:08 AM
2 Comments:
It has been brought to my attention that a weasel is not in fact a rodent, but rather is of the order "carnivora." Special thanks to "Taxonomy Girl" (aka my girlfriend) for this clarification. If this scientific inaccuracy bothers anyone, I recommend treating this post as a autobiographical work of fiction that takes place in a fantasy world where rodents and carnivoras are part of the same super-order.
Wow, I went back and reread your post--cool effect! You could be the next J.R.R. Tolkien.
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